Chapter Twenty Seven ~Mukahi~

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

From a long way away Gakuto heard voices. He knew it was them again. They found him again. He cried a little harder as he rocked himself and waited. He closed his eyes as someone picked him up. He whimpered and knew it would be really soon. They took the rest of his clothes off and wiped him down. He must have completely lost it because he was so afraid and they probably wanted him clean. He cried harder and only opened his eyes when he was put into warm water.

The only one there was Yuushi. Gakuto went to tell him to get away from him. Hurry before Sato finds you stupid, but couldn't because Yuushi looked...weird. Oh. His shirt was torn and he didn't have on his glasses. He looked upset which considering how goofy and kind of smiling he always looked it just made him look more weird. Gakuto didn't understand. Was Yuushi and Sato both going to hurt him? Gakuto was in very warm water and his entire body was still shaking. Yuushi was holding him up Gakuto realized because he was too short to reach his feet to the end of the tub and his arms didn't work to hold himself up. Yuushi was all wet and his clothes were soaked from holding him up which should have been funny but it wasn't.

Yuushi was talking to him but the words didn't make sense. I'm sorry. Sato is gone. He won't hurt you. We stopped him. Atobe is on his way over. Kabaji is mad because Atobe will see his laundry and his bed was soiled. Its all right. Its okay. You're safe. Its over. Gakuto suddenly pushed Yuushi away and curled into the corner forgetting it was filled with water and he half choked and started to throw up. Yuushi fully dressed didn't even hesitate to get into the water with him. He put his arms around Gakuto holding him up while he was sick and he kept saying things. I'm sorry. I won't hurt you. You're safe. It's all right.

Gakuto realized only then that he had been whispering for a long time over and over saying, "no, stop, no, not again, please help me, please somebody help me, no, stop, don't touch me, don't hurt me, stop." Eventually Gakuto wound down and ran out of words though he was still shaking and nothing made sense anymore. Yuushi kept saying things softly to him though.

There was a knock on the door and Atobe asked if he could come in. Before he did, Gakuto grabbed onto Yuushi. "Please." he whispered hoarsely, "Please, he can't know about that. Please, I'll do anything. Anything. Please, no one can know. No one can know. No one can know..." He was sobbing and saying it over and over again.

Yuushi asked Atobe to please Wait a moment and shushed Gakuto until he was quieter again. "I won't tell him or anyone Gakuto. I won't ever. No one will know." Gakuto nodded but kept saying silently to himself mouthing the words over and over that no one could know. Yuushi kept talking to him until Gakuto just said it in his head and not out loud.

Even when Atobe came in the bathroom Yuushi kept saying things to Gakuto that it was all right. He was safe. Atobe looked shocked at them both which was kind of a new thing. Atobe always looked in control and now he looked upset. Atobe talked to Yuushi. Most of what they said was too fast for Gakuto to understand. Gakuto kept thinking that maybe this was like last time when he didn't remember some really bad things that happened when he was hurt very, very bad. He had during the worst part a kind of a dream about his mom smiling and telling him she loved him when things were really so bad and they were hurting him and wouldn't stop and he was all alone and no one would help him. Maybe this time his dream when it was really bad was being naked in the bath with Yuushi dressed. He thought it was a strange dream but with Yuushi in it anything was bound to be strange, even a dream. Atobe was asking Yuushi if he thought Sato could be the cause of all the rest of the attacks and Yuushi said something about no this was personal by a real bastard and not random. Then Atobe and Yuushi talked for a while longer. Then they both looked at Gakuto who nodded because usually when he stopped listening to Atobe talk about himself and nodded it was the right thing to do. It seemed to be again.

Gakuto had completely stopped listening to them until Yuushi said, "I will. I'll watch over him and take responsibility for him. He'll be fine. I'll keep him safe." Oshitari said the word that was their oath. Gakuto mouthed it too even though he didn't know what they were talking about but usually when everyone else said it he had to also.

Atobe said it back to them, sealing it, binding Yuushi, binding Gakuto, and nodded. "I'll take care of the rest then." Then he left without looking back. Gakuto heard Kabaji try to explain to Atobe what the rank mess of his filthy clothes was about and Atobe said for him to clean it up by morning. All of it. At least since Kabaji would be up all night and he wouldn't keep Gakuto up with his snoring. Maybe their room wouldn't stink anymore.

Gakuto tried to figure out what happened. Maybe this was real and Sato and Taki's call wasn't. Maybe this was the dream but the only thing he could come up with was something he really needed to do. Yuushi was still softly talking to him and telling him it would be all right. "I need to wash." Gakuto said quietly.

Yuushi looked at him surprised, "Gakuto?" He said but it was the way he said it that annoyed Gakuto. He said it all lovey and stupid. Like when everyone thought a character was dead in a movie and they found out he was alive. That kind of lovey stupid.

"Yuushi, I need to wash." Gakuto said annoyed that Yuushi was in the tub with him with his clothes on. Yuushi was so strange. "Where are your glasses?"

"Sato broke them." Yuushi smiled as if this was funny for some reason. Stupid Yuushi. But then Gakuto thought maybe this was real and then he didn't know what to say to him. "Would you like me to wash you?" Yuushi asked him.

Gakuto went to yell at him of course he couldn't wash him! Hell no! But then Yuushi held one of Gakuto's hands up out of the water and let it go. It was shaking terribly. Gakuto looked at it a little stunned because he couldn't get control of it even though he tried. He realized even though the water was warm all of him was acting like he was freezing. Damn. He couldn't do it himself. He refused to cry about this.

Yuushi said, "I'll just wash you. I won't do anything strange or weird or stupid and I won't make any jokes or puns. I won't even say a word. Not one. I promise." He paused and just as Gakuto wondered how much this would cost him and wondered how many favors he now owed Yuushi as he realized slowly that stupid Yuushi saved him, the tensai said, "Please? I want to."

"All right." Gakuto said annoyed, "But you gotta scrub my skin really hard to get it all off. And I want new bath water. This is gross. And you better not tell anyone I let you do this ever Yuushi or else!"

Yuushi looked at him weird. Like he was suddenly both very relieved and very happy. All stupid and lovey again. Stupid Yuushi. "Thank you." Yuushi said, "I'll never tell anyone."

"Better not." Gakuto warned as Yuushi lifted him out of the tub and drained it to fill it with new clean water. He set Gakuto down gently as if he might break and started softly scrubbing his shaking hand first working his way up his arm. Gakuto was thinking about what just happened. What almost happened. What was going to happen next. Just like last time Gakuto had to at least start with washing it all off. He had tears stinging his eyes but he wasn't going to cry. Instead he ordered, "No. You gotta do it more. Harder Yuushi. You gotta get it all off me."

Yuushi looked at Gakuto seriously and nodded as if he agreed but he also knew he promised not to speak. He scrubbed harder and as promised never spoke one word.

Gakuto woke up from a nightmare a little later because someone kissed his forehead and said it would be all right. He gasped and tried to push them away. His movement almost shoved him right off the slippery bed but strong arms held him safe. He couldn't figure out where the hell he was or who this was with him and then a light flicked on. A very large ridiculous floor to ceiling lava lamp and he remembered. He was with Yuushi who had promised to take care of him. They were sleeping at Jiroh's. Or trying to. It was not easy to sleep in Jiroh's bed.

Jiroh had time traveled back to the swinging sixties or seventies and apparently taken his decorator with him. Gakuto wasn't sure which year Jiroh was stuck in but the guy's room was designed straight out of a bad B movie from sometime around then. The bed was round, a big wave waterbed, and covered with maroon satin sheets. Which was why Gakuto couldn't move without almost slipping off it and was nearly sea sick from the all rocking. Though he thought it might be good for sex. He sat up and felt it rocking more making him even queasier. Ugh. Maybe not even for sex. He put his feet over the side and wiggled his toes into the deep creamy white plush shag rug just to feel something solid. The rug also looked hideously ugly but at least that felt nice. "Don't move Yuushi." Gakuto couldn't look at him bobbing up and down with the waves.

Yuushi said, "I'm...trying not to." Gakuto turned to look at him because of the long pause. Yuushi looked...green. The tensai sighed. "Close your eyes." Yuushi said and then must have moved. Gakuto shut his eyes tight and heard sloshing as the bed churned. He heard Yuushi walking around the round bed and doing things. Noisy things. Then Yuushi picked him up and carried him over to a place where he set him down. Gakuto opened his eyes. It was a real bed and it wasn't moving. Gakuto wondered where the hell it came from or if Yuushi could do some kind of magic and realized Yuushi had pulled the damn thing out of the wall.

Gakuto looked at the wall where the bed had been and it was covered with mirrors. So was the ceiling. He smiled despite himself. Jiroh was so crazy. Gakuto then wondered how Yuushi knew this bed was here. He looked at Yuushi who explained, "Jiroh said he had a spare bed in the wall behind the panels and to pull it down if we needed it. You asked me to sleep next to you." Gakuto had. He didn't want to be alone or think. Not like last time where it took a long time to recover after and affected him for years after. Sato this time had failed. Gakuto needed to get on with things because next time he might not be so lucky to get away.

Yuushi had strangely hesitated when Gakuto asked him to sleep next to him and then agreed as if he could see the need Gakuto had been feeling to not be alone. The tensai saying he loved him earlier really must have been a joke because if he loved him he would have jumped into bed with Gakuto and made good use of the opportunity. Gakuto had even cried a little earlier like a stupid girl and kissed Yuushi who held him tight and kissed him back at first and then pulled away. Yuushi went back to just holding him. Or maybe after seeing someone almost hurt Gakuto, what a mess he was after it, and having to wash him turned Yuushi off completely. Fine. "Good night." Yuushi said and then turned to go back to the round barf inducing bed.

Gakuto realized Yuushi must be completely disgusted by him because he would rather lay on a bed that made you feel seasick than by him. Still Gakuto's need for companionship and comfort made him grab Yuushi by his borrowed sleep clothes and just catch lightening fast a small piece of the tail of his shirt. He clutched it in his hand and held it hard. Yuushi stood there a moment and then slowly turned. "You want me to stay with you?" Yuushi asked. Gakuto nodded afraid if he said anything Yuushi would say something mean or would leave. Yuushi just looked tired, sighed, and said, "All right."

The bed he pulled down was made all ready with pillows and blankets even. Gakuto didn't know how they got it up there like that. He felt relief that Yuushi was staying and got under the covers to sleep. He scrambled to get deeper under the covers but the too big on him baby blue borrowed silk pajamas were all twisted on him. He felt stupid undressing in front of Yuushi who now hated him so he did it under the covers leaving only his underwear on. "Were you warm?" Yuushi asked after a minute.

Gakuto shrugged and felt embarrassed. "No. I didn't like them. I usually sleep in my underwear." It took a very long time to be able to sleep in just that. Years. After what happened he used to sleep completely buttoned and covered up even during the hottest parts of the summer when he would sweat so much he couldn't sleep. If he undressed though he would have the nightmares again. But he had eventually slowly started unlayering himself and now just underwear was what he was used to. He had a thought, "What do you sleep in Yuushi?"

Yuushi was quiet a long moment and then said, "I usually don't sleep in anything."

"Oh. Naked?"

"Yes." Yuushi paused, "I have a single you know."

Gakuto nodded. "You can sleep like that now. If you want Yuushi. You should be comfortable."

"I'm fine." Yuushi said and sounded strange.

He was laying with his back to Gakuto who had his back to him and Yuushi was laying near the edge of the big bed as far away from Gakuto as possible. Gakuto wasn't going to try to kiss him again or anything. Yuushi didn't have to be such a jerk about it when Gakuto was only being nice. Maybe stupid Yuushi should just go home. Gakuto didn't need a babysitter and he'd be fine in the morning. "Yuushi, I'm not gonna try anything with you again. I said I was sorry. Okay?"

"And I said it was fine. I understand. There is no need to apologize." Yuushi was still sounding strange. And oddly formal.

"And I understand that after what you saw that even if it wasn't a joke, you're not in love with me. I said I won't try anything so you can get comfortable. Okay?" Stupid Yuushi for making him feel bad about just a kiss. Gakuto felt hot tears fill his eyes again. He was laying on his side and one of his tears slid straight down into his other eye and then both fell down his face to land on the pillow.

He was so busy feeling his tears fall and this bed was so solid, he didn't feel Yuushi moving until he had his chest to Gakuto's back and his arms around him again. "Gakuto, I am still in love with you. My feelings haven't changed. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise." Gakuto shrugged. What did he care if one more person hated him? Everyone else did. No one liked him. Again. "I don't want to undress because I want you. No other reason."

"Yeah, right. If you want me then why wouldn't you kiss me? Why'd you make me feel bad?" Stupid Yuushi.

"Because of what you went through tonight. I won't take advantage of you."

"Huh?" Gakuto was now completely confused. He half turned to look at him in the dim light from the very large stupid lava lamp. It was starting to make the bubbles move and flow.

"Because," Yuushi sighed and rolled a little away and Gakuto wondered now if it was because he was tempted, "I care about you. You don't take advantage of someone you care about."

"But its not taking advantage if I wanna." Duh, Yuushi!

"It would be. You're not reaching for me, you're reaching for me only because I happen to be here. If someone else was here then you would reach for them. If I let you then I would be taking advantage of you and I care about you so I can't do that." Yuushi looked at him. "Why are you crying?" Gakuto was and was angry about it. He was crying really hard because he knew something stupid Yuushi didn't. And if stupid Yuushi didn't hate him yet then when he realized it he would. "What's wrong?" Yuushi looked completely confused. It felt in a way good to wipe the smug tensai smirk of superiority off his face for a change but at the same time he looked so concerned that Gakuto felt bad about knowing something he didn't for once.

"You're so stupid Yuushi! No one else." Gakuto said when he could. Yuushi looked at him confused. "There would be no one else here because no one else would've helped me. Everyone else would've left me there to get hurt. Even Taki..." Taki. His former best friend. Who knew enough from their talks that Gakuto had been attacked years ago. He had been hurt bad. Very badly raped and beaten. He had been conscious through most of it too. He woke up in the hospital days later completely a mess. They never found the people who did it because Gakuto never gave the boys names. He was too afraid because of their threats. After how bad they hurt him, he believed them when they said if he told it would be worse. He knew each of them and they knew him. So he changed schools, switched from gymnastics to tennis, and with a trillion hours of therapy was now laying next to stupid Yuushi who wouldn't touch him thinking someone else would be there.

"Gakuto, if Taki really wanted you to get hurt he wouldn't have called you." Gakuto sniffled. That was a little true he guessed. Sure he had slept with his boyfriend but Sato had been with Gakuto first and it was Sato who wouldn't let Gakuto go even though he had tried several times before. No. Stupid Taki would never forgive him. He was like that. Even though he knew what a bastard Sato was and how he had played the both of them against each other, Taki wouldn't forgive him.Taki probably just didn't want to feel bad for having Gakuto's blood on his hands. He probably even enjoyed making Gakuto panic so he called. Yuushi went on, "And Kabaji arrived right after me, he would have helped you."

No. He wouldn't have. Gakuto knew him. Kabaji would have assumed Gakuto was having fun and would have shut the door and ignored the screams. If he did have a thought that maybe he should help he would have had to call Atobe first to see if it was okay. And Atobe thought he was surprised when he saw the two of them in the bathtub together, imagine if he got that call from Kabaji describing what he saw and with Gakuto screaming in the background as he was raped and murdered. Gakuto liked to joke to people who pointed out how bad their room smelled that the reason Kabaji didn't do his laundry really probably was because Atobe never told him to. Atobe told him to do everything and Kabaji worshiped the ground he walked on. Gakuto would often joke that Kabaji's MP3 player, the one he listened to constantly and had everywhere he went really was a recording of Atobe saying, "...breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..." so the big lummox didn't forget.

Gakuto felt angry as he thought about his stupid roommate, "So you think if Kabaji was here instead of you, I'd wanna kiss him?"

"Perhaps..." Yuushi started. As IF!

Now he was really mad. "Forget it Yuushi! You are so stupid! Just forget it! Why don't you go home? Leave me alone!" As Gakuto yelled at him though he straddled him and sat on him. He held Yuushi's wrists down and yelled at him to go but didn't really want him to. He didn't want to be alone and he didn't want him to go. Not at all. Not right then. Especially when he noticed Yuushi looked...strange. Stranger than normal and he was looking right at Gakuto. He looked vulnerable and naked even though he had clothes on and Gakuto realized it was because he didn't have on those stupid fake glasses.

Gakuto also realized that Yuushi now under him was hard. And big. Damn big. He might even be bigger than Sato. No wonder so many people were lined up to be with him. It was strange that no one had ever mentioned that to Gakuto. Not even the guys during all the information gathering. Yuushi was looking at Gakuto that way. That way when someone wants to have sex with you but even more than that. That way when someone wants you specifically. When they like you and want to get with you. No one had looked that way at Gakuto for a long time. Yeah, people liked him. Girls and guys had crushes on him but no one Gakuto liked or would really consider doing. Not that he had considered doing Yuushi before. But right now, that almost attractive thing had just been upgraded to kind of attractive in a strange Yuushi way. Gakuto leaned down and kissed Yuushi. He kissed him hot and used his tongue to force his lips and teeth to open. Yuushi didn't kiss him back but his hands moved so Gakuto now held them instead of his wrists. "Yuushi kiss me."

"No. I can't, its not fair to you or to me..."

Gakuto kissed him again some more. "Yuushi, kiss me."

"Don't do this..."

Gakuto kissed him again harder. "Yuushi, kiss me."

"You're using sex like a drug to make yourself feel better..." So? This was sort of fun, Gakuto thought. Gakuto kissed him again, smiled, and rubbed their erections together through their clothes. Yuushi moaned in this little humming noise. Well Gakuto hoped the strange noise was a moan.

"Yuushi, ki..." was all Gakuto got out before Yuushi held his face in his hands and kissed him back just as hard and just as hot. Then he pulled a little away and softly, so softly kissed him again. As if he had been wanting to do that for a very long time. Gakuto used to think Sato's first kiss with him was the nicest and most loving he had ever had. Stupid Yuushi just proved him very wrong. It was so loving and so sweet it made Gakuto feel worried and afraid but not in the way being attacked made him feel afraid. It was a different kind of fear and he wondered about it even as the kiss went on. Stupid Yuushi was still laying under Gakuto but he had completely taken control of the kiss to the extent that Gakuto was no longer rubbing them together. It was all Gakuto could do to focus his mouth on meeting Yuushi's strong and soft lips and tongue. Yuushi kept kissing him in that way and Gakuto went to sigh but it came out in a little moan that sounded like a mewing a kitten would make. Sex, well when it didn't hurt, sex and getting off usually made Gakuto feel strong. This kiss made him feel weak and shaky but in a very strange good way.

But Gakuto didn't feel in control. Not at all. So he started kissing wet and almost frantically down Yuushi's neck and unbuttoned his borrowed shirt as he kissed down him. He knew he owed Yuushi and he should probably just pay up now by giving himself to him. If he could just hurry and they could both make each other feel good it would be all right. Then Yuushi could get this little Gakuto crush over with and feel good for helping him and Gakuto could go back to not owing him anything just like before. Nothing would change. It was just sex. It wasn't like now that Yuushi beat up Sato he would make Gakuto his or something. Not even Yuushi was that strange. He just felt responsible for him because he swore to take care of him to Atobe.

Then Gakuto thought about that and he was a little worried. Sato had to be furious. He was still out there and would be so angry it was terrifying. He wouldn't stop until he hurt Gakuto and he wouldn't stop this time. Gakuto had no one to protect him. Maybe he should get Yuushi hooked on him because Yuushi could protect him. He had sworn that he would do that. For Gakuto it would be just sex but then Yuushi would protect him. That sounded better. It was a good trade. He sincerely hoped Yuushi wasn't another sadist because Gakuto had enough of guys like that to last the rest of his life. Trading one dumb one in for one that was much smarter than him would be stupid. But what choice did he have? Gakuto had just kissed down the dark hairs trailing from his navel into his pants on Yuushi's very muscled stomach. He had no idea Yuushi was this cut. His attractiveness rating was going up all the time.

Yuushi surprisingly moved down the bed and met his mouth in another of those long soft kisses before Gakuto could kiss him any further down. He moved against Gakuto's mouth pulling softly at his lips and Yuushi made that humming little noise again. It took Gakuto a minute or more to even notice the tensai was only using his lips and didn't even add his tongue in. Then he did and he used it to explore Gakuto's mouth until Gakuto was moaning and feeling that weak shaky scary way again. Yuushi nibbled whisper soft on his lips and trailed his hands all over his body in a slow warm slide. Gakuto slowly slid his arms and legs around Yuushi hoping he would be focused on their kiss and not notice right away. He arched his back up until he felt Yuushi's hard length again through his clothes against his own. Gakuto again started rubbing them against each other.

Yuushi kept kissing him almost as if he didn't notice but he moved them so now Yuushi lay on top. Gakuto wanted Yuushi to come first so he lasted a good long time during sex. Then Yuushi would get hooked on him. Gakuto knew he was very good in bed. He snaked his small hand down Yuushi's pajama bottoms and went to close it around his erection when Yuushi finally stopped him. He smiled but it was a slow lazy smile like a parent who caught their adorable kid sticking their hand in the cookie jar, "What are you doing Gakuto?"

Gakuto kissed him and noticed now that no matter how he tried to make Yuushi kiss in that really nice slow soft way, he was only barely responding. So Gakuto said quietly knowing his sore voice wouldn't crack if he said it soft, "Want you to come for me Yuushi. Come for me so you last a really long time inside me." He watched something in Yuushi's eyes...shift. For an instant Yuushi had that look in them he had when he was playing tennis and was about to destroy someone. It sent a chill down Gakuto's spine. Damn. Gakuto felt for a moment extremely turned on and also again strangely afraid but then thought to himself, come on. This was just Yuushi. Just stupid Yuushi. Gakuto kissed him more and said then seeing that Yuushi was just on the verge of giving in, just a little more and he would be Gakuto's he said, "Yuushi...want you..."

That sexy look left his eyes and then Yuushi asked quietly, "Why?" Gakuto wondered if Yuushi's blood was not getting up to his brain because it was busy somewhere else. It would explain a lot.

Gakuto kissed him and said giving him a look that he knew was his most wanton, "...want you to feel good Yuushi...let me make you feel good...want you..." He kissed Yuushi again wanting him to kiss him back and do that light kissing thing again but Yuushi didn't. In fact he pulled back and then moved away. "Yuushi?" Gakuto asked. Yuushi was hard but he didn't want him. It hurt being something so low that someone you didn't even really like wouldn't even use and Gakuto turned away before stupid Yuushi saw how much it hurt.

Stupid Yuushi was trying to talk about things again. Fine, but Gakuto wasn't going to listen to anything more the tensai had to say. What the hell. People just don't decide to fall in love. It didn't mean anything. He probably just wanted to get into Gakuto's pants and felt bad after that bastard Sato. Now Gakuto was going to be in trouble. Big trouble. Sato was going to kill him. Gakuto would have to find someone quick. He started going through his list of people that maybe he could tolerate. Ones that were big enough to take on that bastard and nice or sexually interested enough to think Gakuto was worth protecting. He had come up with exactly no one when Yuushi touched his shoulder. "Gakuto I don't think you understand how much I want you but it isn't wise for us to proceed. Not with my having feelings for you and your knowing about them. And especially not in light of us living together. It would be uncomfortable for me. I now wished I had waited a day longer to tell you my feelings but then I would not have been returning to talk to you when Sato arrived so who is to know..."

Gakuto caught something in the Yuushi yadda yadda there and interrupted, "Living together?" What the hell was stupid Yuushi talking about?

On to Chapter 28!!